


stay

by sstarryknight



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2019-09-22 15:40:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17062457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sstarryknight/pseuds/sstarryknight
Summary: minseok doesn't have to stay.





	stay

**Author's Note:**

> ( warning: mentions of abuse )
> 
> awkward awkward first try at writing k-pop fandom fic for my friend; possibly inaccurate characterization; possibly horrible grammar bc i'm not very used to present tense; i have no idea how chinese names work i'm very sorry. un-beta'd.
> 
> [ 150508 ]
> 
> \---
> 
> i'm importing some near-ancient fic from my old livejournal in the hopes of reviving my not-so-successful fic writing career. please bear with me!
> 
> [ 181219 ]

_tick. tick. tick._

lu han sits on the carpeted floor with his baby brother lu ji sitting in between his legs. lu ji pushes a toy truck back and forth on the floor, making spluttering sounds that lu han supposes are engine noises--it's hard to tell what with the saliva dripping generously out of his mouth.

lu han scoots closer to his brother, burying his nose in lu ji's peach-fuzz baby hair for comfort. his chubby toddler legs circle around lu ji's chubby baby legs protectively. he stares at the second hand of the dining room clock as it ticks past the number twelve.

ten o'clock, he reads silently. mama and baba still aren't home.

what's new, really. lu han lightly rests his chin on lu ji's head. the new caretaker is too busy scrubbing the bathroom down to remember to put the children to bed. the last caretaker remembered that part, but forgot dinner. lu han can't remember the others.

he remembers iseul- _jie_ , though. iseul- _jie_ never forgot anything. iseul- _jie_ played games with them and bought ice cream for them and told them stories and made the house more noisy. but one day, iseul- _jie_ didn't show up. another _jie jie_ did, but she wasn't the same. the house was quieter after that.

the new caretakers keep forgetting things, lu han thought as he pulled lu ji to his feet to go to bed. "it's okay, _di di_ ," he mumbled. "i will remember everything for you. i will take care of you."

\---

it's his first day of first grade and lu han fidgets in his chair worse than he does in church pews. _seonsaengnim_ told them to pair up but it looked like everyone had their pair already. he was in the middle of counting heads--twenty-three, including him--when a voice interrupts him.

"lu han, i think there's an odd number of people in this class," he explains kindly. "you should join a pair for this activity. it'll be alright with me if three people form a group."

lu han turns from the man to the sea of faces surrounding him. the other children are craning their necks to look at the partnerless boy sitting at the back of the classroom.

luhan remembers the start of the day, during class introductions. he stood for his turn then, his smile bright and eager, with a "hello, my name is lu han and i like football." his accented korean set off a few giggles and suddenly lu han felt very small. he kept the smile on his face large and his shoulders square as he sat back down, but it was very, very hard.

he waves his hands hurriedly to dismiss the concern. "it's fine, _seonsaengnim_! i can just do the work myself." he smiles to reassure him.

he wouldn't want to be a burden.

\---

lu han doesn't like lunch time very much. _seonsaengnim_ lets them sit wherever they want inside the classroom and it just so happens that none of the other kids want to sit with him.

it's alright, lu han says to himself. maybe they'll want to tomorrow. he doesn't want to force his company on them so he stays in his chair at the back of the classroom, picking at his rice.

\---

suddenly "tomorrow" turns into the third grade and lu han still eats alone.

he doesn't want to intrude. he befriends himself instead, but sometimes he wishes he was sharing his table with someone else.

\---

it's the fifth grade, it's lunch hour, and out of nowhere there is a very real, very alive, very tangible someone pulling up a chair beside him and before he realizes it there's another lunch set next to his. lu han doesn't know what to do.

he watches the boy dig into his own lunch, his cheeks quickly filling up with food. lu han decides he likes his eyes and the shape of his mouth and idly wonders why this boy with the roundest face he's ever seen is sitting next to him.

"what's your name?" the boy manages to get out around the rice in his mouth. it's a miracle nothing gets accidentally spat out, lu han thinks.

"lu han. but--why are you sitting here?"

"i'm minseok. i don't know anyone else here and you're the only one sitting alone. i can leave if you want." he says it simply.

"no!" lu han says, a little too fast. "i mean, um--please stay. make yourself comfortable."

minseok chuckles, but not unkindly. "you're weird, lu han. but i like you."

\---

it's the tenth grade and still, lu han manages to lock himself out of his house. it doesn't help that the sidewalk is covered with an inch of snow and stuffing his hands inside his pants pockets for warmth achieves literally nothing. he thought it would be a short trip to the corner store so he didn't bother grabbing a jacket, but apparently that wasn't the case anymore. he plops his butt down on the steps leading up to his house and hopes no one calls the cops on him for being the spitting image of a vagrant. he looks at the plastic bag of canned coffee he's put down beside him. he gives it around fifteen minutes until he hears the sirens. give or take.

that is how kim minseok finds him not five minutes later, sitting in the snow and pathetically blowing some warmth into his near-frozen hands.

he lightly scuffs his sneaker on the denim of lu han's pant leg, code for _what in god's name are you doing out here._

lu han looks up at him. "oh, i, uh. sorta locked myself out. i'm waiting for lu ji to come home."

"stay at the convenience store?" the _you idiot?_ at the end is implied.

"but it's all the way over there," lu han whines. he grins when he sees minseok look skyward.

"you're going to get sick." before lu han knows it, minseok is draping his jacket around lu han's cotton-clad shoulders, then he sits down to lu han's right. lu han instinctively curls up into the warmth, grateful, but--

"minseok," he whines, this time for a different reason. he doesn't need minseok to take care of him, he's fine--

minseok holds the jacket closed over lu han with one hand. "keep. it on. i'm wearing like, four layers right now, i'm fine."

"so unnecessary," he mumbles, reluctantly snuggling into the warm, minseok-smelling jacket.

"i don't mind."

\---

lu han's phone vibrates early the next morning.

**[ sms: baozi ]** _don't forget >>> phone wallet keys. save this message!!! see you at school_

\---

minseok takes one look at lu han and his expression turns icy. minseok grabs him by the wrist and turns on his heel, dragging him toward what seems to be the direction of the infirmary.

"how is there no one here," he says through his teeth when they enter the empty nurse's office. minseok sits lu han on one of the beds and rummages through a nearby cabinet.

this minseok is different, lu han thinks. almost scary. there was no other way to describe the way his eyes looked save for the adjective _cold_. he didn't like it.

"minseok?" his voice sounds small.

he returns with a first-aid kit. he sets it down next to lu han and from it he pulls out a tube of antibiotic cream and a small box of adhesive band-aids. he first inspects the damage, tilting lu han's face to the side by his chin, then unscrews the cap off the tube. lu han watches him squeeze its contents onto his fingertip.

"but i--already cleaned--"

"well, i doubt you did it properly," he snaps, in a voice very much different from his usual one. so lu han stays quiet, even through the dabbing on the cut on his cheek. minseok carefully sticks on a band-aid, then rummages through the kit again. he brings out a cold pack, crushing it between the palms of his hands before gingerly holding it to the bruised part of lu han's same cheek.

"i don't know what to do about your lip." minseok eyes the split lip lu han sports with obvious displeasure.

"don't worry about it. i don't even know why you're worrying about _this_ "--he gestures to his cheek--"i'm fi--"

"don't say it. don't you dare say it, lu han, or i swear to god--" minseok all but throws the cold pack down on the sheets. he turns toward the window across lu han's bed, bringing the backs of his hands to his eyes.

lu han feels very, very small right now, but a part of him feels stupid and sorry. he shouldn't have shown up to school like this, but he wouldn't have ever imagined minseok would react like _this_. he didn't need to react like this.

"was it your father?" minseok asks in an even tone. his arms are crossed over his chest and he's still facing the window.

"'s no big deal," lu han mumbles. "he had a drink too many last night. took his troubles out on me. better he makes a punching bag out of me than lu ji, right?" he tries to grin, but it stretches the cut on his lower lip so he abandons the effort.

minseok seems to have calmed down by now, or at least when he turns around, his eyes are less ice and more warmth. there's an unmistakable glint of worry in them still, which sets lu han on edge. he wants nothing more than for minseok to forget about this whole thing, this thing that doesn't even have to matter. because once it matters too much, minseok will leave too. just like iseul did.

minseok sits beside him.

"i wish you would stop acting like you're made of metal." his voice is so low, lu han isn't even sure he's meant to hear it. but he does. "because you're not. we're human. we're worse than paper or glass, but it's alright because we heal. we're fragile but we're resilient. and it's okay to need help."

lu han can't see minseok anymore, he can't see _anything_ anymore because his vision is too goddamn blurry. he rubs his arm over his eyes and it comes away wet and it's okay for a second until his vision blurs up again and now he can't stop his shoulders from shaking and he can't breathe properly and he still can't see anything--

but he feels warmth and it's minseok's arms circling around him. for the first time in a long, long time, lu han feels protected. he closes his eyes and leans into the warmth.

\---

skin-on-skin contact does wonders for his emotional state, lu han realizes, so he lets minseok hold his hand as they walk to his place after class.

they arrive in front of lu han's front door. lu han still feels cold despite the sunlight.

minseok grabs him by the shoulders to force lu han's eyes to look straight into his. "like i said, if he pulls anything again, you go straight to mine with lu ji, okay?" lu han nods. "lu han. okay?" he says again.

"okay," lu han manages to get out. minseok remains unsatisfied as he chews his lip apprehensively.

"maybe i should stay the night."

\---

"this is so--"

"don't start. please."

lu han pouts. he still thinks this is so unnecessary, but minseok has already changed into his (lu han's) sleeping clothes and is now spreading the blankets lu han had brought out on the floor next to the bed.

"you don't have to stay."

minseok stops what he's doing and looks him straight in the eye. "but i want to." he says it simply. "i'll take care of you."

lu han feels like crying again.

unnecessary, but minseok's presence makes the house more like a home and less like a battlefield. lu han doesn't push it.

he leans down from the bed to press his lips to minseok's cheek in his sincerest form of a _thank you_. when he pulls back he watches it turn a light pink. minseok tries desperately to fight off a smile and fails, so he grabs the spare pillow to hide behind it. lu han grins when minseok's hand settles into his, interlocking their fingers together.

 


End file.
